As a means of stabilizing my financial situation last month, I’ve been making an effort to look for more work than I have been.
It’s tough given that my stomping grounds for gigs is UpWork. A site that I owe a lot to, but has been acting weirder and weirder. It’s at a point now that despite being a highly rated individual on the platform, I get hardly any views or proposals from people.
It was only four years ago where it was the stark opposite.
The same can be said about Medium as well. My earnings this year are less than half of what I’d typically make. Not only that, but the view and read counts have hardly shifted much.
Because of these circumstances, I’ve had to rebuild myself, try new things, stop procrastinating so much and get things done. Can’t say I’m mad about that at all, I’ve been needing to do that at times. It’s more that it’s tougher than usual given the circumstances in which I’m trying harder at being better.
All of this has culminated into getting job notifications for various freelance positions from a handful of job posting sites.
Without any hesitation, I checked the latest and saw a posting for a Youtube scriptwriter.
Pay is $50K-60K per year.
Their goal is to make viral content and leverage Instagram.
Sure I know how to do that.
A few clicks later and my confidence begins to waiver.
Eric, you’re hardly active on Instagram let alone make viral content. You’re a small time writer and have been going at this for nine years.
You’ve only started doing a bit of scriptwriting for your Youtube channel. A channel, which by the way, you’ve been neglecting since February this year. You said you keep coming back to it, but you keep putting it off. How is that working out for you?
*sigh*
I clicked Apply without much of another thought once I got that out of my system.
These Moments Give You A Sense Of Progression
Will I be getting that job? I doubt it. Even with my nearly decade of writing, I wouldn’t say that would be enough for that position. They want someone who can make viral content on a platform that I’m not at all familiar with.
But moments like these still provide me a sense of relief. The goal here isn’t to expect to get hired from this.
Rather it’s to get all the mental noise out.
We trip ourselves up all the time with moments like these. We worry about embarrassing ourselves or feel like we’re trying to avoid eggshells or stepping on people’s feet.
Hesitation is natural, but there are times when we don’t need hesitation. A lot of the time, we simply have to get out of our heads and do it.
Give You A Sense Of Control
When our mind makes us hesitate, it can easily be traced back to a certain doubt or fear that we have. A fear of failure or uncertainty. A worry that we’re inadequate for what we’re trying to achieve in that moment.
It makes us feel small, but it also gives our sense of control over to the part of ourselves that thinks little of who we are and what we’re capable of.
At the end of the day, we’re all flawed individuals. We’ve made mistakes. We don’t always measure up to our ideal metrics or the metrics others expect us to be at.
Because of these things, the mentality blocking us from doing things will always have ammo and words to fight back at who we are. In this scenario they have all the cards and all the control.
But I found the best way to get around all that is to ignore that. To throw caution to the wind and leverage the spur of the moment.
Was it dumb? Yes.
But does it really matter in the grand scheme of things? Not one bit.
And better yet, these moments of idiocy or spontaneous action can outweigh whatever ramifications come from you trying something that one time.
Emboldens You
One such example is emboldening you to do more of it. While it’s not healthy to throw caution to the wind at every opportunity, it still gets you into the right mindset to do what needs to be done.
To know that you can do better next time and build up that momentum.
When you give yourself control to do those things, there’s a certain joy and relief that comes from it. Even if you’re fumbling about, there’s still part of you that wants to try again and do better next time.
And that emboldens you more.
These Moments Give You More Focus
Not to mention it helps you to focus more as well. It teaches you to set priorities, set goals, and ultimately focus on what you want to be getting out of it.
Everyone is going to suck at something from the start and it may take you months or years to hit your stride and make something of it.
But relishing in the spur of the moment — enjoying the relief that comes from doing something you want or need to be doing — feels good.
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